I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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