'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
