Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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