I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize