also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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