Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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