don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
