brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Sorry about my life...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
