U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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