the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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