I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
