Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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