Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
