OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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