he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize