"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
