when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I will be naked everywhere
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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