There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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