And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize