You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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