The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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