GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
