I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
