belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
