I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
