I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
