I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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