Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
