You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
