Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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