if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
