just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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