I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
