on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm really busy with my period
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