After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
