Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
