3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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