She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
