i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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