your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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