the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
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