Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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