I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
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