singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
