She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
