I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
