we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
