And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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