So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
