booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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