My friends, they love my intelligence
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
