I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
