ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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