Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
