Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
