It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
