We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
