Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
